Here I sit, in a different house than my last post. My life is almost unrecognizable from where I was the last time I posted. Which has been a very long time. Sorry about that, I tend to be a sporadic type writer. I stopped writing because my life got busier and more complicated. Not to mention I wanted to focus more on my art and learning and writing new music.
I don't even know where to start. Well the crush I mentioned in my last post, nothing ever really happened with. I did have fun with her and we partied a few times but nothing happened. We still talk rarely but she is actually about to have a kid. She is a really sweet girl.
So I need to mention in great detail as it has been very important in my life; what happened to Amanda and Bobbie.
In esrly July of 2017 Amanda, Bobbie, myself, A friend Brandon and his partner, some girl named Brittany and the girl I had previously mentioned having a crush on went with her then boyfriend on a camping trip to a very remote (no running water or electricity) cabin/camping area by a small pond that Brandon's parents own. Very beautiful, and secluded. The first night needless to say we got very drunk and they had a dock. Now Brandon and I had already planned skinny dipping after everyone else was asleep. Well... didn't take that long. At about 10pm or so I ask him if he cares if I just get started "shit, ima join you." so as soon as we mention this Bobbie and Amanda go back to their tent. Everyone else (there were also two other girls there, they went back to their tents before this to sleep. They mostly slept and complained so idc to mention them by name) stayed down by the pond. Everyone of the guys got naked first then once everyone realized it wasn't sexual all the people present took off their clothes. It was really fun because there was no "that one asshole" and we were all just chillin' at the dock and sitting, smoking and drinking, swimming, having a good time. We were loud. af. I guess at one point I called (yelled) to all the sleeping people each "come down, we are on vacation why are you sleeping." Turns out they wern't all sleeping. Though, I admit I knew none of the people not present were coming to the water with us. Even though it was hardly midnight.
Well, apparently Bobbie had been up at the cabin and Amanda's car. Just slamming liquor and being a dick to Amanda. Later she told me that he had said to her that night that because we were naked she was not only not allowed to go down to the water but had to stay in their tent or in the car facing away from the water. Anyway, around 130-2am Bobbie comes storming down the dock. He looks pissed, rabbles something in an asshole tone followed by; "y'all wanna show off dicks?" and angrily pulls his pants down and points it at all of us. He got really upset when everyone was unfazed by it. IDK if he expected us to be impressed? And he stormed back off.
Fast forward to about 230-330am. At this point I've lost count at 13 beers, three solo's of jungle juice, too many bowls and pills to count. I'm fucked up, have had a great time. Got to express myself (I love when people can be naked around each other platonically, I'll explain eventually) in complete freedom. Was around people I like. I was just generally loving life. So, obviously: I'm standing alone in the cabin eating or something and Bobbie comes in and starts talking to me. "You want people to see your dick? Is that what ya like?" and pulled out his dick. It was awkward and I was confused and I really just wanted this situation to just end. He takes it another step: "I wanna talk to you. Look IK you're in love with Amanda. I'm not stupid." Now my brain is really scrambled. One of the last things I expected tbh. I just stood there in a drunk/high/wtf/isthishappeningoramiasleep quietness. "You love her don't you?" "no" I finally muster out of my mouth. "IK you do, dude. but *puts his hand on my shoulder and looks me in the eyes deeply* I trust you, I do." Me, literally: "Thank you. I'm glad I'm the kind of person that others can have trust in." I gave him a hug and walked the fuck away and went and laid down in my tent.
I wake up about 10am or so. It is about 100 degrees F, not kidding. I walk down to the water where all the people who didn't join in the games the night before are swimming and hanging out. I start to yell at Bobbie because he fell asleep in an inter-tube and it was 100 degrees and I didn't want him to burn to a crisp. All the girls hush me immediately "DON'T YOU WAKE HIM!!! He just fell asleep and has been a dick all morning to everyone." So he did, he slept for like 4 hours in the sun and woke up mad. So he takes Amanda to the other side of the pond (around 45-60 yards away) and proceeds to bang her (in the pond so you couldn't see anything sexual) in front of now everyone. It was messed up but she played it off later. That night I'm still down from being accused of being in love with my best friend and friends girlfriend. I eventually get down to the water, have a few drinks. All the other people were at the water and complaining so I went to bed at like 1230-1. Still slightly drunk.
The reason they wanted me to let him burn in the sun is because after I went to bed the first night and Amanda woke up, he accused her of cheating on him with me... in front of our friends. Right after he told me he trusted me! what? She didn't tell me this till two weeks after it happened. I was so pissed. Don't get me wrong, Amanda and I were close as friends but not to any point to be concerned. However this led to them fighting constantly and after a few months of him accusing her of cheating they in house "separated." I word it this way because really it meant he lived with her because he had no job and no place to go and she wouldn't kick his daughter out with no place to go. So Amanda started coming over more. One, to get away from Bobbie who at this point was such a dick to her constantly I stopped being friends with him by September. I think mid September she told him he had to find a different place and move out but she would give him a few months.
Now that she wasn't "Taken," "appropriate" talk became casual talk and more subjects could be discussed etc. Turns out we had a lot of same goals and sexual preference etc. So the last day of September as we go to part ways, she was sad and gave me a shitty hug. So I said "nope, not good enough." and pulled her back to give her a hug.... and we just... fucking kissed. Nothing making out or anything like that. One short, and gentle kiss. We both blushed hard af and almost tripped over our own feet walking away. I had already promised I would come to her house for diner later that day. As soon as I get there as to make sure I knew she wanted that kiss earlier, she stood behind me and put her hands on my shoulders and when I turned around to look at her she kissed me. Lot deeper this time. My heart fucking stood still. anyway, I realized the part about Amanda and I can go on a different post tomorrow or some day soon. It's a lot.
But by September I was mainly focused on this girl I met named Flora. We were together about August 2016-February 17 off and on. Then actually together June 2017 through the end of August. and suddenly all that stopped. I started focusing on art and stuff. We loved each other very much but she was moving to another country to further her education and I have kids here I would never leave. And she was very jealous etc. So we decided to end our relationship, both monogamously and sexually. Actually August-Feb we were more in an open relationship until I started to be open then she broke it off. Apologized later, told me she didn't want to see me with anyone else. So asked me to be her boyfriend. I still talk to her online. I miss Flora actually. Not as a girlfriend or fuck buddy but just as someone who was (for almost all parts) good to me and genuinely cared for me. She has a partner now whom she is engaged to that goes to her collage (they call it uni.)
Well, I guess that is all for today's post. Hope to write soon. Lots more to catch up on.
I don't even know where to start. Well the crush I mentioned in my last post, nothing ever really happened with. I did have fun with her and we partied a few times but nothing happened. We still talk rarely but she is actually about to have a kid. She is a really sweet girl.
So I need to mention in great detail as it has been very important in my life; what happened to Amanda and Bobbie.
In esrly July of 2017 Amanda, Bobbie, myself, A friend Brandon and his partner, some girl named Brittany and the girl I had previously mentioned having a crush on went with her then boyfriend on a camping trip to a very remote (no running water or electricity) cabin/camping area by a small pond that Brandon's parents own. Very beautiful, and secluded. The first night needless to say we got very drunk and they had a dock. Now Brandon and I had already planned skinny dipping after everyone else was asleep. Well... didn't take that long. At about 10pm or so I ask him if he cares if I just get started "shit, ima join you." so as soon as we mention this Bobbie and Amanda go back to their tent. Everyone else (there were also two other girls there, they went back to their tents before this to sleep. They mostly slept and complained so idc to mention them by name) stayed down by the pond. Everyone of the guys got naked first then once everyone realized it wasn't sexual all the people present took off their clothes. It was really fun because there was no "that one asshole" and we were all just chillin' at the dock and sitting, smoking and drinking, swimming, having a good time. We were loud. af. I guess at one point I called (yelled) to all the sleeping people each "come down, we are on vacation why are you sleeping." Turns out they wern't all sleeping. Though, I admit I knew none of the people not present were coming to the water with us. Even though it was hardly midnight.
Well, apparently Bobbie had been up at the cabin and Amanda's car. Just slamming liquor and being a dick to Amanda. Later she told me that he had said to her that night that because we were naked she was not only not allowed to go down to the water but had to stay in their tent or in the car facing away from the water. Anyway, around 130-2am Bobbie comes storming down the dock. He looks pissed, rabbles something in an asshole tone followed by; "y'all wanna show off dicks?" and angrily pulls his pants down and points it at all of us. He got really upset when everyone was unfazed by it. IDK if he expected us to be impressed? And he stormed back off.
Fast forward to about 230-330am. At this point I've lost count at 13 beers, three solo's of jungle juice, too many bowls and pills to count. I'm fucked up, have had a great time. Got to express myself (I love when people can be naked around each other platonically, I'll explain eventually) in complete freedom. Was around people I like. I was just generally loving life. So, obviously: I'm standing alone in the cabin eating or something and Bobbie comes in and starts talking to me. "You want people to see your dick? Is that what ya like?" and pulled out his dick. It was awkward and I was confused and I really just wanted this situation to just end. He takes it another step: "I wanna talk to you. Look IK you're in love with Amanda. I'm not stupid." Now my brain is really scrambled. One of the last things I expected tbh. I just stood there in a drunk/high/wtf/isthishappeningoramiasleep quietness. "You love her don't you?" "no" I finally muster out of my mouth. "IK you do, dude. but *puts his hand on my shoulder and looks me in the eyes deeply* I trust you, I do." Me, literally: "Thank you. I'm glad I'm the kind of person that others can have trust in." I gave him a hug and walked the fuck away and went and laid down in my tent.
I wake up about 10am or so. It is about 100 degrees F, not kidding. I walk down to the water where all the people who didn't join in the games the night before are swimming and hanging out. I start to yell at Bobbie because he fell asleep in an inter-tube and it was 100 degrees and I didn't want him to burn to a crisp. All the girls hush me immediately "DON'T YOU WAKE HIM!!! He just fell asleep and has been a dick all morning to everyone." So he did, he slept for like 4 hours in the sun and woke up mad. So he takes Amanda to the other side of the pond (around 45-60 yards away) and proceeds to bang her (in the pond so you couldn't see anything sexual) in front of now everyone. It was messed up but she played it off later. That night I'm still down from being accused of being in love with my best friend and friends girlfriend. I eventually get down to the water, have a few drinks. All the other people were at the water and complaining so I went to bed at like 1230-1. Still slightly drunk.
The reason they wanted me to let him burn in the sun is because after I went to bed the first night and Amanda woke up, he accused her of cheating on him with me... in front of our friends. Right after he told me he trusted me! what? She didn't tell me this till two weeks after it happened. I was so pissed. Don't get me wrong, Amanda and I were close as friends but not to any point to be concerned. However this led to them fighting constantly and after a few months of him accusing her of cheating they in house "separated." I word it this way because really it meant he lived with her because he had no job and no place to go and she wouldn't kick his daughter out with no place to go. So Amanda started coming over more. One, to get away from Bobbie who at this point was such a dick to her constantly I stopped being friends with him by September. I think mid September she told him he had to find a different place and move out but she would give him a few months.
Now that she wasn't "Taken," "appropriate" talk became casual talk and more subjects could be discussed etc. Turns out we had a lot of same goals and sexual preference etc. So the last day of September as we go to part ways, she was sad and gave me a shitty hug. So I said "nope, not good enough." and pulled her back to give her a hug.... and we just... fucking kissed. Nothing making out or anything like that. One short, and gentle kiss. We both blushed hard af and almost tripped over our own feet walking away. I had already promised I would come to her house for diner later that day. As soon as I get there as to make sure I knew she wanted that kiss earlier, she stood behind me and put her hands on my shoulders and when I turned around to look at her she kissed me. Lot deeper this time. My heart fucking stood still. anyway, I realized the part about Amanda and I can go on a different post tomorrow or some day soon. It's a lot.
But by September I was mainly focused on this girl I met named Flora. We were together about August 2016-February 17 off and on. Then actually together June 2017 through the end of August. and suddenly all that stopped. I started focusing on art and stuff. We loved each other very much but she was moving to another country to further her education and I have kids here I would never leave. And she was very jealous etc. So we decided to end our relationship, both monogamously and sexually. Actually August-Feb we were more in an open relationship until I started to be open then she broke it off. Apologized later, told me she didn't want to see me with anyone else. So asked me to be her boyfriend. I still talk to her online. I miss Flora actually. Not as a girlfriend or fuck buddy but just as someone who was (for almost all parts) good to me and genuinely cared for me. She has a partner now whom she is engaged to that goes to her collage (they call it uni.)
Well, I guess that is all for today's post. Hope to write soon. Lots more to catch up on.
No comments:
Post a Comment